Dearest Granny

Granny passed away peacefully on 29th April at 3.14am.. I will never forget the look on her face. Thanks for colleagues and friends who are there at the funeral. I know that god has bring her to a better place from all the pain she might face. Comfort at the fact that at least it was not the cancer that cause her pain and suffering when she passed the last stage of her life.

The day before after my work, I received a call from mum. She said my granny was having breathing difficulties and I was told to go home immediately to cook for my brothers as the maid had to accompany my granny in the ambulance. After dinner, I was told that granny could not make it that night... All that sudden my mind was in a blank.. Brought my brothers along took a cab and met my sis to go together.

Even before I reach the hospital, my eyes was swollen from all the crying. I was afraid that I couldn't see her for the last time. The counter people ask for my info and my granny's name and ward but at that time I really wasn't able to answer clearly.. My brother-in-law have to step in to help.

Uncle was the last to reach as he had to work. At that time even though no voice came out, we know that she was calling for my uncle to be there.

We were there till 10 plus until we had no choice to leave.. I stayed there the whole night to accompany my granny and hold her left hand as she kept trying to take out the oxygen mask. My cousin came to accompany us after she had dinner with her friends. After staying up for one whole night asking the nurse for my granny's BP and heart rate, the nurse tell me a news that make me feel better. She said my granny's condition was better that before.

I fall asleep somehow as I was really too tired.. When I woke up she seems asleep.. And she was like this the whole day. I was there until near 8.30 pm. The doctor told my cousin and I to go home as staying there in the hospital is not going to be a short term.. And so I thought of going to work on thursday and decided to come straight from work to accompany her again and stay there since Im having off on fri and sat. But it was too late... My granny passed away early morning..

Until now I regretted not staying on the second night.. I thought she pulled through the critical stage which is what the doctor said.. I wanted very much to hold her hands when she leave so that she won't be lonely..

I still hope that it was a dream and when I wake up granny is still there.. I cried very hard the first few days because it was too sudden to accept..

Goodbye Granny. I love you always.  ♥♥

 My granny is getting weaker and weaker day by day. She fall down at the toilet last Saturday. Wth.. Thanks to the new maid (arrived less than a week) who dont know how to look after her properly.... The new maid was hired just specially to look after my granny so that the other maid, Cherry will have lighter workload. Her job scope is very easy; to ensure that my granny did not fall, to wheel her around the neighborhood so she will not feel bored. And what? She went away when my granny was in the toilet. Even Cherry can look after her better even though with so many workloads in her hand.

I get emergency time off from work and took a cab back home to look at my granny. When I wanted to took the same cab and send my granny to the hospital, my Dad stopped me asking me to observe first before sending her in. Because of this matter, i was angry for a few days. To me, old people falling down is a serious matter and you will never know what is affected inside the brain. Thankfully she is alright or i will remember this incident for long.

Went to watch Clash of the Titans after work on Thursday. A nice movie that i rate 4 out of 5.

I attended Royston's 21st birthday last saturday after my work. Did not want to attend in the first place cuz Ivy was sick and i had no accompany. Shin ni was there since afternoon but by the time i reach there she had to go back to Malaysia. Luckily there is 2 other guys accompanying me that night or i might have leave early. There was only 4 from NP which includes me, SN and that 2 guys while the rest are his secondary school and army friends.  One of the guy is from Biomedical science and he was the one who entertain me most of the time after shin ni left and he even help me to get drinks. Isnt he gentleman? Thanks to the 2 of them if not i would have feel really bored.

I have been feeling very lost lately. I didnt talk to my parents like i use to anymore. I use to talk to them about my work, studies and friends. How i wish i could tell them how lost i am right now. Everyday i am smiling but deep down inside i am very lost. I become very quiet each time i reach home which is not me at all.

One of friends said that it is because i am feeling lonely right now and that i should find myself a boyfriend so that i would not feel lost anymore. i doubt so. She even told me about this particular guy whom i know as well and said that he is really a nice guy and that we should start out as friends and see how it goes. 

I have never been in a relationship before so i don't know how is it like. Honestly, I fear of relationship and will start building a wall around me when i heard of this word or when someone gets near. I am still waiting for the right one to knock down this wall of mine. Relationship is not something to joke about as feelings are being involve. If one day you ever see me attach, it could be that wall is gone and that my heart has melted.

 Saw this in facebook note and i think its quite meaningful.



每个女生心里都有一个不是男朋友的男朋友
你们可能相爱过，你们也可能喜欢着彼此，
但是，为了什么原因你们没能在一起？
也许他为了朋友之间的义气，不能追你。
也许为了顾及家人的意见 ，你们没有在一起。
也许为了自己的前程，她没有要你等她。

也许你们相遇太早，
还不懂得珍惜对方。

也许你们相遇太晚，
你们身边已经有了另一个人。

也许你回头太迟，
对方已不再等待。

也许你们彼此在捉摸对方的心，
而迟迟无法跨出界线。

不过即使你们没在一起，
你们还是保持了朋友的关系。

但是你们心底清楚，
对这个人，你比朋友还多了一份关心。

即使不能跟他名正言顺的牵着手逛街，
你们还是可以做无所不谈的朋友。

她有喜欢的人，你口头上会帮他追，
心里却不是很清楚你是不是真的希望她追到。

她遇到困难时，
你会尽你所能的帮她，
不会计较谁又欠了谁。

男女朋友吃醋了，
你会安抚他们说你和她只是朋友，
但你心中会有那么一丝的不确定。

每个人这辈子，
心中都有过这幺一个特别的朋友，
很矛盾的行为。

一开始你不甘心只做朋友的，
但久了，突然发现这样最好。

你宁愿这样关心她，
总好过你们在一起而有天会分手。

你宁愿做她的朋友，
彼此不会吃醋，才可以真的无所不谈。

特别是这样，
你还是知道，
她永远会关心你的。

做不成男女朋友，
当她那个特别的朋友，
有什么不好呢？

你心中的这个特别的朋友...? 是谁呢？


很多的感情，
都因为一厢情愿，
最后连朋友都当不成了

常常觉得惋惜，
可惜一些本来很好的友情

最后却因为对方的一句喜欢你，
如果你没有反应，这一段友情似乎也难以维持下去，
这也难怪有些人会因此不肯踏出这一步。

因为这就像是一场赌注，
表白了之后不是成了男女朋友，
要不就连朋友都当不成了。

有些事不是你能预料的，或许对方不在意，
你们还可以是朋友，但却已经不如从前的......

关于爱情：
不要认为后面还有更好的，因为现在拥有就是最好的。
不要认为我还年轻，可以晚些结婚，爱情是不等年龄的。
不要因为距离太远而放弃，爱情是可以和你一起坐火车的。
不要因为对方不富裕而放弃，只要不是无能的人，勤劳可以让你们致富。
不要因为父母反对而放弃，你会发现这个原因而放弃的爱情，将是你一生的悔恨。
其实，对于爱情，越单纯越幸福！一生只谈一次恋爱是最好的。经历的太多了，会麻木，分离多了，会习惯，换恋人多了，会比较，到最后你会不再相信爱情，你会自暴自弃，你会毫无生气，你会行尸走肉，你会与一个你不爱的人结婚，就这样过一辈子···

所以牵好的手就不要轻易放开，说过的话就不要轻易收回，承诺过的人就不要轻易忘记···

有些人，有些事，既然发生了。
就注定是你一生的回忆···

I took one of my annual leave today so i have 3 days off from sat up to Monday. I don't usually give myself excuses to take leave but i did as its my best friend 21st birthday. =)

Happy birthday to Hui Yi whose birthday falls on 21st March. We celebrated it early as we do not want to affect her actual celebration with her love ones. It is always nice to have you around as you always manage to make me smile. Somehow i love to hear her updating about her life and her animals. She always have weird and funny names for her animals and this time she name her new pets tao suan and dusty. why? Cuz the first one look like the colour of tao suan while the latter look dirty and greyish.

I do hope that she had a wonderful birthday celebration with us plus the strawberry strudel and her Guess wallet present. Huiz, may all your wishes come true and may you be happy together with your love forever and always. =)

Before the celebration i met S early to shop around Bugis and to have breakfast. When facing her i always manage to pour out my heart unknowingly. Once i told her that besides my first crush, i did had feelings for someone whom she knew as well. I have been keeping it well because i have so many fears. It started when we were year 1 and we were waiting for lecture to start. He sat beside me showing concern about my piano practice etc. At that time i had trouble practicing my score and he was the one who told me i can do it. I know that sounds dumb and that it is only a concern as a friend...but he is the second person whom i notice during lectures.

My New Samsung Jet

Went to IT fair on Thursday with my colleague after work ended. It was really damn crowded even though its only the first day of the fair. Look around for laptops and printers, Then our last stop is at Singtel when we started queuing to ask for corporate lines. Ate at Toastbox after viewing around.

Went back on Friday again cuz my colleague and I decided to sign for a new phone and a new line. I took Samsung Jet. Then we ate at Xin Wang Cafe. I am beginning to love my Samsung Jet due to its style and interior design. You can choose to put 3 different wallpapers as you can switch between 3 different walls and its much more interesting then my previous LG phone. And the best thing is that its a $0 phone. Besides that my line plan is only $20 per month with the same amount of smses and outgoing calls which also means i will save at least $10 per month with the same amount of usage. =)

I really like this colleague of mine and am glad that even though we only know each other for barely 4 months, we are able to hang out together after work, talk about personal stuffs and also to gossip about our work when things just go wrong. Or should i say we can click the right from the start? haha. Just Barely 4 months and we have been going out quite frequently after work. And what is the best thing? We are from the same secondary school. =)

Went to celebrate my mum's birthday after work and then went to meet Za at woodlands around 9pm to watch Alice In Wonderland.Movie started at 9.15 and ended at 11pm. I think overall its quite a nice movie even though SN said that Avatar is much nicer and interesting to watch. She keep making me regret that i didnt go and watch Avatar... =(

Met up with Sn on Sat and she was the one that initiated the meet up! I was so surprise when she say she wanted to meet up on sat cuz i thought she will be busy with her JL and also i am always the one asking to meet up. We shop around JP and keep getting lost. We are like 2 goldfish 'swimming' back to the same place even though we have already shop that area and we also keep eating non-stop. We stop at one of the nonya restaurant for our lunch as we like the ambience. =)

After our lunch we saw this tube dress which we wanted to buy badly. But it cost almost $30 and the material is only so so. Therefore we keep telling ourself that it is not worth it. Then Sn saw this wallet which she like and it cost around $80 (If i didnt remember wrongly) but didnt buy it. After all the shopping we decided to have our dinner by sharing a plate of fried Kway Teow and Ice-Kachang. Then we went home..

The journey back home was the funniest one cuz we kept laughing non-stop. This sotong still thought she live in Woodlands even though she has moved house! And she jumped up wanting to alight when i say 'wow, so fast reach woodlands already!' So Funny! Make me laugh uncontrollably! >.<