I attended Royston's 21st birthday last saturday after my work. Did not want to attend in the first place cuz Ivy was sick and i had no accompany. Shin ni was there since afternoon but by the time i reach there she had to go back to Malaysia. Luckily there is 2 other guys accompanying me that night or i might have leave early. There was only 4 from NP which includes me, SN and that 2 guys while the rest are his secondary school and army friends.  One of the guy is from Biomedical science and he was the one who entertain me most of the time after shin ni left and he even help me to get drinks. Isnt he gentleman? Thanks to the 2 of them if not i would have feel really bored.

I have been feeling very lost lately. I didnt talk to my parents like i use to anymore. I use to talk to them about my work, studies and friends. How i wish i could tell them how lost i am right now. Everyday i am smiling but deep down inside i am very lost. I become very quiet each time i reach home which is not me at all.

One of friends said that it is because i am feeling lonely right now and that i should find myself a boyfriend so that i would not feel lost anymore. i doubt so. She even told me about this particular guy whom i know as well and said that he is really a nice guy and that we should start out as friends and see how it goes. 

I have never been in a relationship before so i don't know how is it like. Honestly, I fear of relationship and will start building a wall around me when i heard of this word or when someone gets near. I am still waiting for the right one to knock down this wall of mine. Relationship is not something to joke about as feelings are being involve. If one day you ever see me attach, it could be that wall is gone and that my heart has melted.